There is a time when not having a bike is just not good enough

We had shifted up to Shimla in Himachal Pradesh and although for us it was so easy to move about by local bus and on foot but there was just too much we were missing out on.  Mind you travelling down to Delhi during the summer was not my idea of fun so the possibility of checking Bulletwallas and Balu out for a bike was deferred.

On the then current www.bulletwallas.com website Balu had some interesting options for modifying the bike and its performance, machining the engine to fit better quality bearings and generally getting rid of all of the bugs from the beast while giving a bike that had more kick than a mule.

I was impressed and anticipated that such a technically sound profile would give worthwhile results and I would have a bike somewhat better than my first one. Talking with Balu on the phone gave me the impression that yep all was possible, so before long I was heading down the mountainside into the pollution and grime of Delhi.

Even though I was late in arriving and having been ticked off for my tardiness I still got one of Balu’s big bear hugs, it felt good, so after intro’s with his Laura, I wandered off to find a place to sleep and anticipate the next day.

There was something easy about this Balu and Bulletwallas that made me want to get to know it a little more, no hurry about the bike, I wanted to see the operation.  Not so easy as Balu informed me as it was scattered over about 5 small workshops.  Okay then, lets talk about these modifications from the web site.  Ahh well not so easy to do now, as the parts are not available, all imported and very few people really want to go to this level.  All true, but not how it was presented earlier.  No matter let’s look at bikes.

I am pretty fussy and really could not get excited about what I was seeing out side the shop.  There were nice looking bikes but that classic 500 was hard to beat for good looks.  I wanted something special.  Well have to say that I went away unimpressed.  So back to the mountain views of Shimla.

The bug had got me though and it wasn’t long before I was heading back to Delhi and calling into Bulletwallas in the hope of getting something to ride that would give me what I wanted, a bike with all of the bugs out of it and something that looked just right.  On one evening I spied this 500cc parked up, it had been tweaked a little and looked like it was set up for long rides.  Next day it was gone and that was sad.  After a few more days of mooching about Pahar Ganj and doesn’t that place just allow you to mooch about, so fascinating, really is, back to the hills with no birthday present for myself.

You know how it is when there is a desire, that need and it has to be fulfilled.  Yep back to Delhi and Bulletwallas again.  I was getting pretty desperate for wheels and that was it.  Still nothing there but we talked about that bike that I had seen on my last trip.  Aussie Bob’s bike it was, and he was planning to sell it., and I was planning to buy it.  But the problem was he had wandered off to Rajasthan and would be heading back soon.  The theory was he would sell the bike to buy a van as he was feeling at 60 something he was to old to ride.  Fine with me.  So I hung round waiting, a week or so went by and no Aussie Bob.  These bikers just travel.  It turned out that he had decided to do a trip over to the Orissa side before getting into 4 wheels.

It was now Christmas Eve and I was feeling pretty screwed by the whole trip.  Balu had tried to get me interested in his big black diesel bike but it was to big and heavy for me.  There was this green diesel that frankly was ugly but I began to think its funky ugly and well what would it be like up in the hills running on vege oil.  Okay so here is a different bike, I am a greeny from way back and the challenge was interesting to see what it would be like, frozen vege oil at 2500m, so lets give it a go.

The day that I decided to leave, well before it turned New Years anyway was a drama.  As much as we can so okay, here’s the money and I want to leave on this date, it turns out there are many unfinished things on the bike, though it had been portrayed as ready to go.  Well it was on display and in running condition but I am one of those customers that want things reasonably right, hell why not, my bike and I want it as I want it.  So after much coercion I did get a windscreen, did get a backrest, 2 out of 4 indicators fitted, new or so I was told new tyres fitted.

It was really strange, being a customer and feeling like I was imposing, like hey, I have been hanging out for a long time and I wanna get going guys.  I wandered off and bought 10 litres of pure Soya bean oil, after which we had a little ritual of pouring in the oil with photos and chit chat.  I was all pretty nervous about this, not only this strange bike, the atmosphere but trying to find my way out of Delhi, that was a big worry.

Eventually round 10.00 pm, after calling home to say that I was on my way.  I was loaded up, wearing my big Kiwi Swandri Southland farmers horse riding coat, thermals and layers of socks and gloves, being cold was not an option and so was heading out.  Had a few misdirections heading out but eventually I was on my way.  The bike felt okay, diesels are not petrol and a 350 is not a 500 so it was slow to pick up but a nice rhythm along the way, that was until vibrations began; I took note of this when most of the bolts on the windscreen had fallen out.

Around Sonipat, 85 kms out of Delhi on National Highway One, Grand Trunk Road, I lost 2^nd and 3^rd gears, this was not a good feeling and at around midnight not what I wanted to know about.  All resolvable in the light of day and I still had 1^st and 4^th so keep on moving dude.  Found a place to have a break and a chai, reorganise my clothing as from my knees up I was as warm as toast, but my shins and feet were not enjoying the trip.  So more thermal pants and more socks were added.  Back into it and thank god for the electric start.  Changing from 1^st to 4^th worked out but one has to be resourceful, and we, the bike and I continued nicely for an hour or so.  I kind of think that changing gears is not a good idea and before long 4^th had gone.  Having memories of all of the problems that I had had with the 500 I wondered at my fortunes.  I called Balu, woke him from his slumbers and told him of my wonderful journey and said that being in the middle of nowhere and wanting to be somewhere where there was life and preferable a mechanic was my goal, so onward grinding away in first and going slower than the bicycles passing me by.  Something haunted me about what Balu had said, this is a special bike, no one has done this here before.  He had one himself but wanted me to understand that this was all hush hush in case someone tried to copy it.  So I reconsidered the mechanic and decided to find a trucking company that would take the bike back to Balu and BulletWallas and get it all sorted in their workshop.

Eventually after travelling for nearly 50kms in 1^st gear, I got to a trucking company about 10 kms before Ambala and negotiated some storage so that Balu could send someone up to sort it all out. After a few phone calls describing the events, the vibrations where bolts fell out of the windscreen, loosing 2^nd and 3^rd gears, 4^th and giving up on 1^st when it became really slow, then walking for about and hour.  Sensing that there was an argument going on and some four-way discussion was happening that I wanted no part of.  Me, I had had enough and I loaded up my gear and began walking up to Shimla, well if I had to I would.  I walked out the gate of the trucking company with my gear and luckily a bike stopped and gave me a ride to the main bus stand in Ambala, I was heading home for New Years, pissed and knackered.

In The Beginning

When my wife and I came to India in February 2006 and settled in Mohali Chandigarh in the Punjab, transport became a serious issue.  A car would have been great but why spend between Rs  2,00,000/- and 20,00,000/- on something that is guaranteed to get damaged within the first month, such is the nature of owning a car here.  Parking always an issue and really the only logic was to look at a motorbike.

Long time back I did a lot of riding in my home country of New Zealand, rode for about 10 years until, strangely I had difficulty in going round corners, just kept forgetting to lean and so took the straight road so often, luckily stopping before anything happened.  Pretty freaky experience and gave the suggestion that I should either get my shit together or stop riding, I chose the latter as relying on my brain to keep function was obviously to much to ask at the time.

Well there was a dilemma,  the bikes available were not really up to what I wanted and the challenge of getting my head around riding again.  Deferring the issue of the riding skills, the search was on for a decent bike; no real option the Royal Enfield was the only big bike available.  So finding a new 2006 Classic 500cc I was, I suppose content.  Nope, Black Black and Black, Henry Ford in India.  A very dark green of an Electra was what I wanted but NO cutomising allowed by Royal Enfield.  Strange theory, customers cannot obtain add-ons from a Royal Enfield Authorised Dealership.  More strange things to come to be sure.

Having a strong enthusiasm in bikes and cars from long back, always pulling something apart and doing modifications, happy to have a spanner in my hand and always doing my own servicing would help me to begin the process of running in my 500 quietly and nicely.  

What happened was an interesting process and certainly a test of my patience to say the least. The test ride was both frightening and amusing to say the least.  I was certainly not mentally focused on beginning to ride again and not knowing the roads was a trip in itself.  The dealer sent me off with a mechanic up front to a place where I could get back into the saddle.  Oh not so easy, gears and brake were on the other side and my brain was not into much multi tasking, very nervous to say the least.   Riding in a straight line and changing gears was not easy, those gears and my foot and brain just would not get the rhythm.  Stopping trying to use the gear lever and changing with the brake was so bad it had to be funny.  This problem took ages to go away.  I freaked the co-pilot out with my speed and we both knew I was once a crazy rider and still was to continue that way.  When we got back to the shop I spent about 20 mins riding round the local roads and car parks until I got the gear changing and turning to a level where I could go it alone.

I departed and filled the fuel tank and I rode off home to show my wife.  I made it with little real difficulty, very light traffic and really a very straight route back to the apartment.  That evening we went for a little ride together, scary for her and scary for me to, the headlamps on those bike are pretty bad.  One thing that stood out on that ride and remained with us for a long time were the number of pot holes and the missed gear changes.  My co-pilot wife was so meticulous at pointing these out, had to smile as it was not possible to pretend that they did not happen.

The next morning checking over the new beast we found petrol everywhere, the tank was leaking.  Okay these things happen, so off to the Chandigarh showroom and see what gives. This is the beginning of a very long year under the warranty and burden of Royal Enfield.  Within 15 minutes of arriving the bike and I were sent off to have the fuel tank replaced as sealant had been used to hold the fuel tap in as the thread was damaged.  Well these things happen and the service centre was as I found, going to be a kind of home away from home with this bike.

I had it seemed, purchased a Royal Lemon, a Royal Dog, it was the last day of the month, the last day before Holi, the last bike to be built on the run and all of the left over parts were thrown at this bike and it was sent off to Chandigarh.  My bike!!!

While my gear changing was improving neutral became an issue as it seemed to be there more than I really wanted it to be.  Between 1st and 2nd, 2nd and 3rd and 4th was not left out.  Then there was the locking of the gears, so back to the dealer and minor adjustments made.  This seemed to be a continuous process and would it seemed culminate in almost every 6 weeks having to go to the workshop to have some serious work done.  The electric start began to fail, missed to connect, buzz but no cranking of the engine and over a period of 6 months I had 3 brand new electric starters, the sprag clutch replaced 4 times, there were deeper issues I felt but the policy was to replace but do not get to the root of the problem.  The points, timing and carburettor were a constant source of joy.

Every time that we planned a trip in the first 4 months of having the bike it was doomed to be cancelled and it became apparent that reliability was not coded into the psyche of this machine.

I became very frustrated, became the customer from hell and would find my way to the top of the department at Royal Enfield Chennai as I began to demand a full refund or replacement. What I learnt was that if the bike was still within the first 30 days and still on a temporary registration, then no problem to replace; but I had registered the bike on my name and the lock down had begun.  Battles ensued, especially as I had mastered the gear changing but it was still locking up and slipping into these phantom neutrals.  In desperation Royal Enfield flew out their top engineer to look at my bike and once and for all fix the gears and any other issues that I had.  Great, awesome, now there is service.  We had agreed on a series of protocols if in fact the problem had not been resolved after he had worked on it.  One was to split the gearbox and get to the heart of the gear and clutch mechanism, or replace the gearbox.  Well it did not get fixed, nor was the gear box split apart or replaced, so I did the drama queen role and grabbed a bloody great sledge hammer and was about to beat the living crap out of my bike and leave it for the hunk of junk that it was showing me it was.  He was a liar and pretty useless at his trade also as it turned out.

They were impressed but maybe they had seen this before and no real result came from the threat.  So Off on the grumbly beast to another dealer, my business and my gripes I shall take elsewhere.  Damn what a move, the other dealer and their service department were right on to it and within 30 minutes had once again replaced the various ratchets, plates, inside foot control levers, slapped in a great wad of grease and adjusted the clutch.  So sweet and only required a minor clutch adjustment after that.  Were there a run of bad clutch parts or the great wad of grease applied did the trick I will never know but for me now and on every bike that I am now involved with, slapping on the grease is a given.  On returning to the original dealer and confronting them to show that the level of incompetency was beyond words, I departed pleased with the result.

We got a holiday, 3 weeks in Himachal Pradesh, Shimla, Kangra, McLeod Ganj, all very nice and not over taxing as I was still not sure how long our run of luck would last.  Gear changing was good, we were overloaded somewhat and riding at slow speeds with metal panniers and 2 people on was a shaky scary process that convinced me that heavy luggage carriers were dangerous.  Add to this being scrunched by an arm hit and run bus in Palamapur with our carriers being bent, added to my conviction that these things don't belong on a bike.  After my wife was settled into the hotel and calmed down I went off to the police and filed an FIR against the bus, the driver and the army, oh yes to be true.  After a few hours they found the bus, identified the point of impact and I went to the military camp to get the bike fixed.  Interesting how military bases can be almost empty during a holiday.  Well as is normal for me, go to the top and get it sorted pronto.  Not much help at the gate, security and all that but rode through to find the Base Commander, well he found me with a few others in tow.  We had a good discussion, from courts to throwing me out and the like, but as gentlemen we could agreed on the quick repair of the bike at their expense and I would be on my way.  Kiwi Power.

Overall the ride was great, plenty of power for my style of riding and considering the weight of about 140 kg being carried all up we rocked in places, great on the inside of bends on a hill climb undertaking trucks and buses to be sure.  A 5 speed gear box is a must though, shame that they were not available then.  I did find and this does need to be recorded that one has to do a lot of self talking while riding to ensure that concentration is maintained, I did find that gazing off while riding brought back that inability to turn a corner.  Luckily even though it was a down hill bend we managed to get round on the other side of the road on the grass without too much fuss, no cliff just at that point, such Grace.

The next ride planned was to Pushkar and the camel market, so had a big service done and got the original dealer to replace various gaskets as there were leaks including the head gasket.  By the time we got to Delhi the bike was missing and farting and stalling.  We called into BulletWallas in Pahar Ganj and I collected a set of textile saddle bags from Balu, told him of the bike saga and that was our first face to face introduction.  We trundled off to our accommodation for the night and made ready to leave for Pushkar the next day.  The bike was a dog to start, or more like a donkey me thinks.  There were times that it bucked and would just want to go slow, such a pain.  Getting out of Gurgaon was a drama but on the open road from there all seemed better for a while.  Pulling into Behror about halfway between Delhi and Jaipur we found a mechanic and handed the bike over to him.  I had the mobile numbers of some of the top people in Royal Enfield in Chennai, so I got on the phone and got one of them to speak with the mechanic.  Well I had a warped head, the head had not been tightened down correctly from having the head gasket replaced.  Surprise surprise.  All that could be done was to throw oil into the fuel and slowly ride off to Jaipur to have the head fixed.

So 3 days later we headed for Pushkar and the camel fair, with a slashed seat thanks to the Jaipur Royal Enfield service centre, the head plained and oil added to the fuel once again, slowly riding off mindful of the need to run the engine in a bit.  Unfortunately we arrived on the last day of the fair and so the trip was a complete hassle.  Pushkar was good, the place was nice and there were still a few camels hanging about but our visit was to be short and the return to Chandigarh lay ahead.  Heading back we opted to avoid Delhi and go via Jhunjhunun and visit the painted city, then hit the NH 65 back through Churu, Hisar, Ambala and to Chandigarh.  It was a good trip, the road was nice and the push rode was getting louder, did I care, no way, if I could kill the bike I would.  Dead or alive I wanted either a new engine, a new bike or my money back.

After arriving back in Chandigarh I told the dealer to come and get the bike, he was expecting my call which did not surprise me.  In no uncertain terms he was informed that I did not want that engine back, end of story.  For 3 months the bike stayed with them, it had been fixed but no way was that bike coming back to me.  

In the end after many letters and phone calls between the dealer and Royal Enfield I received a full refund plus the cost of registration and insurance. Rs 96,400/-

What did I learn from this, the Royal Enfield motorcycle is crap, the Royal Enfield service is crap and we really don't have many options if we want a bigger bike to cruise about on here in India.  Not long after all this was put to rest I began discussions with Balu at BulletWallas to have a bike built that would I hope have all of the bugs ground out of it.  Well going by what Balu promoted on his www.bulletwallas.com web site some time back this was possible and made good sense but I would expect to be expensive.  

In November 2007 I went to visit Balu and find a bike, but that is another saga.